It’s getting exciting, people. The time of picnics, strawberries and swimming is just around the corner. However, as we inch (or in Hong Kong, hurtle) towards summer, there is a very dark grey lining to this silver cloud. Bikinis. Bare, pasty, suet-like legs sticking out from sundresses. It’s an annual evil, and enough to make one run for a muu muu.
Body makeup always seems so unnecessary, doesn’t it? What is the point of putting something all over your body that you are just going to wash off later? To this I say: once you pop you can’t stop. The first time you expose your bare, pale steamed pudding legs after a brutal winter, a bit of body makeup on those pasty pins can go a long way. What with the new and improved formulas that are being trotted out these days, you don’t even need to worry about the colour rubbing off on your clothes.
The remaining problem with body makeup is the colour. I don’t particularly want to go from Pasty McPaste to a bodybuilder dark tan. The best option, which are super quick and foolproof, are aerosol body bronzers (such as from Lorac or Victoria’s Secret) but the cans usually only hold two or three whole-body applications, so must be saved for real occasions.
Prtty Peaushun (Peau? Geddit?) is absolutely the next best thing. It is a completely natural yet long-lasting tinted lotion for your whole body, which doesn’t “tan” you so much as give you one hell of a glow, a shimmering layer of health across your skin. It manages to disguise miniature fluctuations in skin tone and texture. It comes in a squeezy packet, it doesn’t rub off onto anything, there is enough of it to last all spring, and it makes you look like you spent all day boating on the Mediterranean, not stuck on the subway or behind a desk.